A new year's resolution: Showing restraint
I have recently finished the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown, and several things have resonated with me in this book, but the following paragraph has resonated with me the most:
Becoming an editor in our lives also includes knowing when to show restraint. One way we can do this is by editing our tendency to step in. When we are added onto an email thread, for example, we can resist our usual temptation to be the first to reply all. When sitting in a meeting, we can resist the urge to add our two cents. We can wait. We can observe. We can see how things develop. Doing less is not just a powerful essentialist strategy, it's a powerful editorial one as well.
I'm guilty as charged. I admit I have struggled quite a bit with showing restraint as I have always been the first to respond in an Email thread and the first to chime in a meeting. It might have to do with the fact that I thought I had a lot of good ideas, or maybe due to my extrovert personality and my inner fear of missing out or being irrelevant.
I never allowed myself to observe, listen carefully, and see how things developed. Instead, I spoke first, mistakenly thinking that this would show how attentive, smart, and insightful I was. I knew this tendency has, in some instances, robbed people the wrong way, but I brushed it off, telling myself that I could never please everyone.
Now I understand the importance of the essential habit of waiting before chiming in and being the editor of my own life.
In the world-renowned musical Hamilton, lawyer and politician Aaron Burr advises Hamilton to "Talk less. Smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for."
He warns Hamilton that "fools who talk too much wind up dead."
If there is one New Year's resolution that I need to stick with is to observe and show restraint.
In 2022, I will promise to talk less and smile more. Happy New year.